Tag Archives: social media

Be less judgmental and be more compassionate


It seems to me that there’s been an increase in vitriol and hatred around the world, from the US / North Korea posturing, to the far right protesters in the US, to comments closer to home on Facebook.

I live on a relatively new estate, and at the moment it seems blighted by vandals and antisocial behaviour. Just this weekend, different people have reported, via Facebook:

  • capturing some youngsters (12 or 13 year olds) on CCTV after midnight deliberately breaking trees in their front garden
  • that their brand new home has been vandalised a matter of weeks before they were due to move in
  • that the lights outside their house were stolen and smashed further up the street
  • finding a dirty nappy (diaper) in their garden, apparently thrown there by the toddler next door

The first three are criminal acts, but the last one was probably an accident as the toddler may not have known what the impact of they were doing was.

In all these cases, the comments left by others on the estate have been abhorrent, from suggesting that the youngsters have their legs broken to pushing the contents of the nappy back through the neighbour’s letterbox. Just think about it. Suggesting that children are deliberately crippled for an act of vandalism.  Pushing excrement through a letter box because of something that was an accident, rather than talking to the parents. Really? What is wrong with these people?

As inflammatory comments were left following each report on Facebook, people seemed to be feeding off each other, off the negative energy. With the first incident, I asked if anyone had notified the police and / or got social services involved, but that was met with stony silence. More vitriolic comments followed, but to my knowledge the authorities were not contacted. Instead, the community just got more incensed, conveniently ignoring my suggestion.

We don’t know what circumstances have led to children of that age being out after midnight without their parents. We don’t know what drove someone to vandalise a nearly new house, or to take someone’s property and break it. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was seen as “fun”, maybe there was a long standing connection between the perpetrators and the victims. The point is, until you know WHY something happened, how can you comment constructively or with any kind of reasoning? To comment without knowing the full facts from all sides makes no sense. It leads to people being judgmental based on their own biases and perceptions. That can’t be right, it can’t be helpful and it can’t be healthy for anyone involved.

Yes the vandalism and other acts should not be tolerated, but the best way to deal with them is to provide evidence to the police and let them sort it out, bringing in other agencies like social services if necessary. Mob rule and vigilante justice is just not on. We as a community should be better than that. We as humans should be better than that. Is this really the way to build a community? Is this really the way people want to live?  Is this how to build a society we can be proud of? Try showing a little compassion and kindness instead.

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Dave the Psychic

I saw this video for the third or fourth time in the past 6 months recently, and it occurred to me that you might like to see it. On the face of it, this guy is able to tell a lot about a person just by holding their hands or talking to them, but then…

Magic – or is it?

This contains a lot of really good examples of the impact of not locking down your privacy settings on social media. If you’re happy for all and sundry to find out the sort of things this guy does, then carry on. But if you’re a bit uncomfortable, a bit worried about what someone could find out about you, then it’s time to review your settings.

It’s a good idea to do this reasonably regularly anyway, as hidden within your Terms and Conditions for most sites there will almost certainly be agreement for the suppliers to change permissions as and when they see fit. Normally that happens during an update or upgrade, but it’s a good idea to be vigilant.  

Enhancing your following 


Some time back I posted an item about how to build your following. Today, I came across this on LinkedIn and thought I should share it on here. I know it focuses on that platform, but it holds true here. I think most of us get more engagement and more views when we write from personal experience.

I know I’m not doing the things I should be to continue to build my readership – apart from anything else, I’m too intermittent – but I am going to try to get back to posting regularly, if I can. 

It’s funny isn’t it? You set out with good intentions to write once a day, once a week, once a fortnight, whatever, and then they gradually fall by the wayside. I guess that if you can establish a good routine, then that helps. My work takes me to different places on odd days, so I can’t easily say “every Thursday I’ll be here and can write for an hour”, because meetings come up and that time disappears. 

Good Tweetment – Image #132

image

A while back I posted about the difficulties I had in “getting” Twitter. I also posted about having created a new account fairly recently.  Since then I think I’ve made more of a concerted effort to use it and have noticed a couple of things:

  • the more you post, the more retweets and followers you seem to get
  • the best time to post seems to be on a Sunday evening
  • people add you to groups without you asking – and I don’t know how to get out of them!
  • I’m really bad at using hashtags

Does that mean that there are loads of people gearing up for work for the week by checking the world of Twitter with their Sunday dinner?  Is it a way of easing ourselves gently in?   Is this how we’re evolving?  And why is it that I seem to need about 5 more letters in my posts than I’m allowed?  lol

You ARE worthy

From yesterday’s entry about other blogs, I thought it worthwhile expanding on one of them a little.  I’ve chosen this one because I’ve been undergoing a lot of changes and spent a lot of time in reflection and introspection recently. The post I read talks about things that don’t define your self worth, and I suggested that the number of friends or contacts you have on sites like Facebook and LinkedIn shouldn’t be used as a measure of self worth either.

If you care what other people think you will always be their prisoner

– Lao Tzu

It can be quite exhilarating to get friend requests on various social media sites.  Who doesn’t want to be wanted, to be liked, to be needed?  But if you stop and think about it, how many of these people do you actually know?  How many have you spent time with, talking to, establishing any kind of friendship?

I’ve been in the same boat – probably still am – but every so often I take some time to go through the sites and look at who is there and think about what I really know about them.  LinkedIn is a classic – the number of times I look at it and go “who is that?”, because I added them way back in time when I worked on a specific project for two weeks, and have never seen or heard from them since.  I then go through the process of removing them as friends / contacts.

Facebook can be similar, and here I’m going to be a bit hypocritical: I have people on my friends list that I’ve rarely, if ever, met but I keep them there for one main reason.  I play bass, I want people to come to gigs, so I have some friends on Facebook who organise gigs, some who play in other bands (and therefore might want my band to play with them) and some friends who go to a lot of gigs and I want them to come to mine!

No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission

– Eleanor Roosevelt

When I started this course, I stated that I wanted to find out how to build a following, to encourage people to read what I wrote.  That sounds a bit contradictory to what I’ve just said though, doesn’t it?  I’ve found that as I look at reducing my contacts in some sites, I’m now actively trying to expand my contacts elsewhere, through blogging. At first I was writing purely for me, in order to get the thoughts in my head into some semblance of order: now I find that I eagerly seek out new followers and comments from people like you, dear reader, who I may never meet.  What’s that all about?  Is it a case of still wanting to be loved and needed, or is it an inner extrovert pushing their way through?  I guess those are questions only I can answer.

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are

– Marilyn Monroe

So, just because you’ve whittled down your friends list to only those you actually know to speak to, who are indeed friends, does that make you a bad person?  Not at all!  You are who you are, be all you can be. You are unique, you are awesome, make the most of all that you are.