Tag Archives: self help

Reflecting on yourself – Image #34

I’ve been in quite a reflective mood recently, thinking about all the changes I’ve undergone and made happen over the last couple of years. I’ve removed a lot of negativity and replaced it with happiness and joy. I came across this quote by Rumi and it occurred to me that there’s a flaw in it – can you figure it out?

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I’ve heard many variations of this, but they all say much the same thing. Why is it that it’s only the faults, the negative things, which you see reflected in others? Why aren’t the good, the happy, the positive things reflected as well? Is it because that’s not what we’re looking for? Are we better at seeing the bad and worse at seeing the good? Or are we predisposed to searching out the bad in everyone else, rather than the good?

Why do some people seem to want to feed on all the negative energy, to encourage us to be bitter, twisted, and unhappy? Why do they seem to take pleasure in other people’s distress? In my view, these people need our kindness, our care, and our compassion, but we need to be careful not to give them our heart or soul at the same time. They must be suffering in some way, but we may never be able to heal them. In order for us to heal them, they have to want to be healed, want to be helped, but that needs an acknowledgement from them that they could be in the wrong, are unhappy or that they need help: that’s not easy and for some is a step too far.

In my opinion, seeking out the good people, and the good in them, must be healthier for us than looking for the negatives. Having a positive frame of mind, and surrounding ourselves with like minded individuals makes us feel better about ourselves and the life we lead. Why wouldn’t we want that for ourselves and our loved ones? At the risk of going all Star Wars on you, let go your feelings of hate, of dislike: avoid the dark side, and embrace the light.

All you need is love,

love is all you need

Lennon / McCartney

 

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7 Steps to Happiness for Image #33

It’s a while since I posted anything vaguely around life challenges or change, so let’s get away from cute kittens and alcohol free days with this latest image in my bid to post one a day for a whole (leap) year.

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I’ve never really thought about what things cause and promote happiness, but found this image and realised that it’s pretty much spot on. Over the last year or so I think I’ve been doing almost all of these, perhaps with the exception of the “Think less…” one.

I can certainly recommend that you try one or more of these – the more the better! What have you got to lose?

Making friends and getting to know them

How long does it take to know whether you like someone or not? How long does it take for you to realise that you are friends?  What makes someone a friend? How long does it take to get to know someone?  What do you need to do in order to get to know someone?  These are all questions which I’ve been mulling over for some time.

Continue reading Making friends and getting to know them

A new blog name

The eagle eyed among you will have noticed that my blog has a new name.  I had been reading back over the previous 40 or so posts, and realised that it was less about travel and more about life, so thought it should have a name more in keeping with the content.

Continue reading A new blog name

Who are we to judge?

Last night while browsing the blogsphere, I happened across an article that made me stop and think, for a long time. On the surface it’s all about judgement and people’s opinions, but dig a little deeper and it’s so much more.  Continue reading Who are we to judge?

Spirits in the Material World

Apologies to The Police for using one of their song titles for this item, but it seemed apposite somehow.  Regular readers will know that 2015 has been a year of big changes for me, and one area which I’ve not really touched on is the spiritual one.  Before you pass the rest of this article by, I’m not going to get all religious on you, spouting off about some great being looking down on us and handing down lessons which may or may not have been true.  (And, by the way, if that’s what you choose to believe in, I’m cool with that.  Each to their own and all that, but it’s not for me.) Continue reading Spirits in the Material World

You ARE worthy

From yesterday’s entry about other blogs, I thought it worthwhile expanding on one of them a little.  I’ve chosen this one because I’ve been undergoing a lot of changes and spent a lot of time in reflection and introspection recently. The post I read talks about things that don’t define your self worth, and I suggested that the number of friends or contacts you have on sites like Facebook and LinkedIn shouldn’t be used as a measure of self worth either.

If you care what other people think you will always be their prisoner

– Lao Tzu

It can be quite exhilarating to get friend requests on various social media sites.  Who doesn’t want to be wanted, to be liked, to be needed?  But if you stop and think about it, how many of these people do you actually know?  How many have you spent time with, talking to, establishing any kind of friendship?

I’ve been in the same boat – probably still am – but every so often I take some time to go through the sites and look at who is there and think about what I really know about them.  LinkedIn is a classic – the number of times I look at it and go “who is that?”, because I added them way back in time when I worked on a specific project for two weeks, and have never seen or heard from them since.  I then go through the process of removing them as friends / contacts.

Facebook can be similar, and here I’m going to be a bit hypocritical: I have people on my friends list that I’ve rarely, if ever, met but I keep them there for one main reason.  I play bass, I want people to come to gigs, so I have some friends on Facebook who organise gigs, some who play in other bands (and therefore might want my band to play with them) and some friends who go to a lot of gigs and I want them to come to mine!

No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission

– Eleanor Roosevelt

When I started this course, I stated that I wanted to find out how to build a following, to encourage people to read what I wrote.  That sounds a bit contradictory to what I’ve just said though, doesn’t it?  I’ve found that as I look at reducing my contacts in some sites, I’m now actively trying to expand my contacts elsewhere, through blogging. At first I was writing purely for me, in order to get the thoughts in my head into some semblance of order: now I find that I eagerly seek out new followers and comments from people like you, dear reader, who I may never meet.  What’s that all about?  Is it a case of still wanting to be loved and needed, or is it an inner extrovert pushing their way through?  I guess those are questions only I can answer.

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are

– Marilyn Monroe

So, just because you’ve whittled down your friends list to only those you actually know to speak to, who are indeed friends, does that make you a bad person?  Not at all!  You are who you are, be all you can be. You are unique, you are awesome, make the most of all that you are.