The Thing All Women Do That You Don’t Know About

Some of this is tough to read, but I think it’s a really good post which is why I’ve reblogged it. It’s more than just listening that’s needed, though that’s a good start. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: we shouldn’t have to teach girls how to avoid being attacked and raped, we should be teaching the attackers and rapists that their behaviour is wrong and that they shouldn’t be doing these things.

Drifting Through

image: Shutterstock image: Shutterstock

There’s this thing that happens whenever I speak about or write about women’s issues. Things like dress codes, rape culture and sexism. I get the comments: Aren’t there more important things to worry about? Is this really that big of a deal? Aren’t you being overly sensitive? Are you sure you’re being rational about this?

Every. Single. Time.

And every single time I get frustrated. Why don’t they get it?

I think I’ve figured out why.

They don’t know.

They don’t know about de-escalation. Minimizing. Quietly acquiescing.

Hell, even though women live it, we are not always aware of it. But we have all done it.

We have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. How to avoid angering a man or endangering ourselves. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all…

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When fiction is too close to truth…

Years ago I saw a film which exposed the darker side of life in a poor neighbourhood.  I recently watched it again, having first read the book, and it’s had a much bigger impact this time.  If you want some kind of insight into poverty, alcoholism, [domestic] violence, social norms and the difficulties for anyone trying to get out of the endless cycles which perpetuate the lifestyle, I really recommend Alan Duff’s Once Were Warriors to you.  But be warned, it’s very uncomfortable reading / viewing.

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A new blog name

The eagle eyed among you will have noticed that my blog has a new name.  I had been reading back over the previous 40 or so posts, and realised that it was less about travel and more about life, so thought it should have a name more in keeping with the content.

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The Girl Code – Have you heard of it?

This may seem like a very odd subject for a man of my age to be writing about, but in recent months I’ve become aware of the phenomenon known as The Girl Code.  The main rule seems to be that you shouldn’t date your friend’s ex, but I’ve become aware of a more worrying behaviour: trying to entice a man away from his current relationship, even though he’s incredibly happy.

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A Scottish Escape

Some years ago, I was preparing for another attempt on Kilimanjaro and had persuaded one of my cousins, Chris, to come with me.  We decided that since there was a big age gap which meant we didn’t really know each other that well, we should try something a little smaller and closer to home to see how well we got on.  We’d be sharing a tent for nearly a fortnight and we figured it better to find out before we got to Africa!

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Are you good enough?

What makes someone good enough for you? What makes you good enough for someone else? Is it social standing? The neighbourhood in which they live? The number of children they have? The number of piercings or tattoos, colour of their hair, clothes they wear, the kind of friends they have? Is it how they spend their time?

Continue reading Are you good enough?

The guy that speaks his mind

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