How long does it take to know whether you like someone or not? How long does it take for you to realise that you are friends? What makes someone a friend? How long does it take to get to know someone? What do you need to do in order to get to know someone? These are all questions which I’ve been mulling over for some time.
As some of my readers will know, 2015 has been a year of significant changes for me, all driven by my desire to become a better, more caring, more compassionate person. Today’s post isn’t a “Yay, look at me” entry, but more of an example of how a seemingly small thing can make a difference to someone.
OK, I’m aware that my recent posts have been a little heavy, so I thought I’d lighten things up a bit. My friends, family and acquaintances already know that I have a “unique” sense of humour, and I thought I’d share some of it with you. I apologise in advance!
Some of this is tough to read, but I think it’s a really good post which is why I’ve reblogged it. It’s more than just listening that’s needed, though that’s a good start. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: we shouldn’t have to teach girls how to avoid being attacked and raped, we should be teaching the attackers and rapists that their behaviour is wrong and that they shouldn’t be doing these things.
There’s this thing that happens whenever I speak about or write about women’s issues. Things like dress codes, rape culture and sexism. I get the comments: Aren’t there more important things to worry about? Is this really that big of a deal? Aren’t you being overly sensitive? Are you sure you’re being rational about this?
Every. Single. Time.
And every single time I get frustrated. Why don’t they get it?
I think I’ve figured out why.
They don’t know.
They don’t know about de-escalation. Minimizing. Quietly acquiescing.
Hell, even though women live it, we are not always aware of it. But we have all done it.
We have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. How to avoid angering a man or endangering ourselves. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all…
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Years ago I saw a film which exposed the darker side of life in a poor neighbourhood. I recently watched it again, having first read the book, and it’s had a much bigger impact this time. If you want some kind of insight into poverty, alcoholism, [domestic] violence, social norms and the difficulties for anyone trying to get out of the endless cycles which perpetuate the lifestyle, I really recommend Alan Duff’s Once Were Warriors to you. But be warned, it’s very uncomfortable reading / viewing.
The eagle eyed among you will have noticed that my blog has a new name. I had been reading back over the previous 40 or so posts, and realised that it was less about travel and more about life, so thought it should have a name more in keeping with the content.
This may seem like a very odd subject for a man of my age to be writing about, but in recent months I’ve become aware of the phenomenon known as The Girl Code. The main rule seems to be that you shouldn’t date your friend’s ex, but I’ve become aware of a more worrying behaviour: trying to entice a man away from his current relationship, even though he’s incredibly happy.